I am well. I still struggle with what I’ve done to hurt the Khamisa family as well as the community as a whole when I murdered Tariq. I will always carry the shame of my actions with me as a reminder of the person I was and the destructive impact I had on so many people lives.
This has been a long journey for me, one I may not have been able to make without the love and support of my grandfather Ples Felix, the encouragement and reassurance of Azim and Tasreen Khamisa as well as other members of the TKF family. I am grateful to all of them for not giving up on hope for me even in those moments when I lacked hope for myself.
Today, as a 37 year old man, I am in a better place mentally and emotionally then I’ve ever been in my life. I’ve in time, been able to identify and address the emotional issues that I carried with me the night I murdered Tariq and through the early years of my incarceration. I can now speak honestly about my past and the person I was without trying to run from the painful reality of what I’ve done. Honesty was something that, I know now, I lacked when it came to myself as well as the courage to wield it. It was also the first step in the journey from who I was to the person I am today. I’m grateful to have been given this opportunity for change. I am mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually well but the shame that I bear for Tariq’s murder will always be there because I took from him the same opportunity for change and growth that I’ve been afforded. Thank you.